Balkan Air
Cheap Fare
Seats Tear
Plastic air vents fall on heads, as we take off in the air
Bulgaria bound
He is wearing a leather jacket
one pocket contains a litre bottle of tequila, the other, a carton of orange juice
Tequila sunrise
Galun holiday, stupidity time
drive on beach, in Cherokee Chief
Tide going out. No! Tide coming in
Standing on the bonnet, screaming for help
Legoland riding the big wheel
Brother decides to open the door at the top
crowds smiles suddenly turn to shock, as my little brother stands and waves
he always was an attention seeker & I have always been scared of heights
Denmark bound
brother and I dressed in matching sailor outfits
Big Audio Dynamite blasting out of the topless Golf
as we drove down the wrong side of the motorway
Pharma company, doctors, conference, New Orleans
landed, overbooked hotels, Shit hits fan, Slidell
working, all night, working, all night
New Orleans broke me
Glamourous mum
Galunatic dad
mum brought us up
Dad threw us up
Reb was the ‘Jekyll and Hyde’ of dogs
my (first) date rings the doorbell
dog goes mental and blocks my exit from the kitchen
Stuck for 8 hours, forced to pee in a saucepan, date thinks he has been stood up
Part of my stage school curriculum,
was modelling on Wednesday afternoons
can now do a mean catwalk show, while bouncing a beach ball
never seen Kate Moss do that…amateur!
He was a naughty boy
running amock, chasing chickens
around the garden, and into a penned bonfire
their garden smelt like scorched hair & KFC
“Liv, my bum is hot” said Giles. “Shut up and go to sleep” I replied.
smoke filled room
brothers electric blanket on fire
Godfather wading through smoke with full snorkel apparatus on
Childhood cubby holes, seperated by no mans land
Personal items, like missles, being launched across the expanse
Desperately trying to work out an escape route
From the alcohol induced rage
Sneaking downstairs at 7am in the morning, into my dads bar
Heads under the Guiness taps, frothing at the mouth
creating cocktails out of creme de methe and chardonnay
drunk by 9 - green and black vomit by 11.
Aged 11, sent to stage school to improve my confidence
Owners were called Sheila & Andy
Thus ‘Shandy’ Stage School (yes, you can vomit)
I mostly hid in the bathroom
Hired as short order chef in my dads rock club
drunk on cider and black,
hearing the bass of Slayer, whilst lying on the kitchen floor
How do you like those undercooked burgers - cheque please!