Airplane (Bulgaria Pt 2)
Balkan Air Cheap Fare Seats Tear Plastic air vents fall on heads, as we take off in the air
Cocktail coat (Bulgaria Pt. 1)
Bulgaria bound He is wearing a leather jacket one pocket contains a litre bottle of tequila, the other, a carton of orange juice Tequila sunrise
Car Vs Sea
Galun holiday, stupidity time drive on beach, in Cherokee Chief Tide going out. No! Tide coming in Standing on the bonnet, screaming for help
Denmark Part 2 - Giles gets high at legoland
Legoland riding the big wheel Brother decides to open the door at the top crowds smiles suddenly turn to shock, as my little brother stands and waves he always was an attention seeker & I have always been scared of heights
Galunatics & European Driving don't mix
Denmark bound brother and I dressed in matching sailor outfits Big Audio Dynamite blasting out of the topless Golf as we drove down the wrong side of the motorway
Pharma company, doctors, conference, New Orleans landed, overbooked hotels, Shit hits fan, Slidell working, all night, working, all night New Orleans broke me
Parenting the Galunatic way
Glamourous mum Galunatic dad mum brought us up Dad threw us up
Pet number 5 - the date and saucepan wrecker
Reb was the ‘Jekyll and Hyde’ of dogs my (first) date rings the doorbell dog goes mental and blocks my exit from the kitchen Stuck for 8 hours, forced to pee in a saucepan, date thinks he has been stood up
Model pupil - stage school pt 2.
Part of my stage school curriculum, was modelling on Wednesday afternoons can now do a mean catwalk show, while bouncing a beach ball never seen Kate Moss do that…amateur!
Nicholas Fried Chicken (no chickens were harmed in...
He was a naughty boy running amock, chasing chickens around the garden, and into a penned bonfire their garden smelt like scorched hair & KFC
The Godfather and the electric blanket
“Liv, my bum is hot” said Giles. “Shut up and go to sleep” I replied. smoke filled room brothers electric blanket on fire Godfather wading through smoke with full snorkel apparatus on
Childhood cubby holes, seperated by no mans land Personal items, like missles, being launched across the expanse Desperately trying to work out an escape route From the alcohol induced rage
Early morning drinking in Fenders - age 11
Sneaking downstairs at 7am in the morning, into my dads bar Heads under the Guiness taps, frothing at the mouth creating cocktails out of creme de methe and chardonnay drunk by 9 - green and black vomit by 11.
Stage fright caused by...stage school?
Aged 11, sent to stage school to improve my confidence Owners were called Sheila & Andy Thus ‘Shandy’ Stage School (yes, you can vomit) I mostly hid in the bathroom
Drunk and in charge of a burger
Hired as short order chef in my dads rock club drunk on cider and black, hearing the bass of Slayer, whilst lying on the kitchen floor How do you like those undercooked burgers - cheque please!
The day my life changed forever
That afternoon, my gran picked us up from school Nobody would tell us what happened fire - the great destroyer of life as I knew it
White Lightning Crush
His name was not important but he was my first school-girl crush I drank a bottle of White Lightning, went on the Waltzer and promptly vomited on his feet
My first and last waitressing job
Dads created a food platter masterpiece, complete with a watermelon head I trip carrying it up the stairs platter covers entire first couple of rows of audience drummer hits cymbal, applause please
Bonding with dad - aged 10
Basement in Gray’s Inn Road on a Saturday morning Dad teaching me to shoot at random Time Out Posters
Nervous breakdown Dad has the solution knocking down a conservatory with a sledge hammer listening to death metal
Stranger at christmas
She came to stay for christmas A haggard, aged rocker with a cackling laugh wore leather mini skirts which displayed her ovaries she gave me a half used Body Shop gift set
Dinner at Fenders
ITV staff in our packed restaurant a real New Orleans vibe pet axelotal decides to grow legs and walk down aisle of restaurant crap tips that night
New Care Bear, Dad home, run to say hello, so does pet number 2 I can fly, no front teeth.
My third and fourth pets
Fish said “No Hurricane” Quails can’t fly… they did that night no posh eggs for tea.
Early Meals out with the family
Smashing popadoms over our heads suicide sauce, eating chrysanthemums Dad asleap in spaghetti
Learning to dive for first and last swimming...
Oasis outside Swimming pool with dad shivering, on the blocks, success competition day - perfect dive last place
My first pet
Jamie dog ate my toys walked along walls stolen by gypsies
New meds - new nightmares hand curled around two cigars paper containing school girl poetry falling out of a sleeping steve’s mouth dad sitting downstairs listening to Enya
My first gig
Me, eleven Beastie Boys playing at Marquee Club big furry jackets I served them a fruit platter
Bucket full of Newcastle Brown Ale Dad in leather jacket, playing drums with wire brushes, accompanying Macgowan
“I want a plastic egg with a watch in it” watch does not work, brother cries, dad eats watch
My second pet
Home from school dog has ate the fridge bloody dog dog go night night